Arts & Culture

Valentine’s Day Music Prep: 10 Pieces of Classical Music to Ruin a Romantic Evening By

There's a right way to use classical music to woo your woo-ee this Valentine's Day, and there's a wrong way. This list, compiled by MusicLab intern Daniel Webbon, could save you from a romantic disaster. Read it to save yourself from weeping. Or to create a soundtrack for your breakup.

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  1. Liszt – Hungarian Rhapsody No 2: Not exactly mood music.
  2. Boulez – Structures: Sure it’s complex. Just like that wine you’re drinking.
  3. Krzysztof Penderecki – Threnody to The Victims of Hiroshima: Chocolates, flowers, atomic atrocities, they go together great.
  4. Holst – “Mars, Bringer of War,” from The Planets: Quite possibly the loudest thing ever written.  Perfect for a quiet night in.
  5. Prokofiev – “The Montagues and Capulets,” from Romeo and Juliet: When you think about it, Romeo and Juliet is really about some 13 year olds that kill themselves.  Oh, and in-laws that hate each other. Nothing ruins a date like in-laws.
  6. An hour and a half of  free improvisation by saxophonist Anthony Braxton: Now it’s just getting ridiculous.
  7. Varèse – Ionization: A seminal work for percussion instruments. A terrible choice for Valentine’s day.
  8. Rossini – Duetto buffo di due gatti (The cat duet): Literally sounds like whining cats. It’s supposed to, but that doesn’t really make it any better.
  9. Philip Glass – Einstein on the Beach: This would make for a bizarre night indeed.
  10. Shostakovich – String Quartet No. 8: 1960 Soviet Union. Cold War. Love is in the air.

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